Soul Satisfaction

⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
⁶ when I remember you upon my bed,
    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
⁷ for you have been my help,
    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
⁸ My soul clings to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 63:5-8 ESV

Please join me with a cup of tea or your beverage of choice and muse with me for a few minutes. I have been reading through the Psalms and these verses jumped out of the page to me this week. I love it when a regular reading plan miraculously expresses my heart on that day, don’t you? It feels like the Spirit whispers the words of my soul when my mind cannot piece together a representative reflective sentence.

The last time I wrote an entry I was in the midst of painful waiting… relating to David’s words written in the wilderness at the beginning of Psalm 63.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
² So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory.
³ Because your steadfast love is better than life,
    my lips will praise you.
⁴ So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

Psalm 63:1-4 ESV

 Those words described my feelings and hopeful eyes focusing on God while waiting for news in the desert of uncertainty. But then, just like the wonder and color of Oz to Dorothy  Gale from the black and white dusty tornado driven Kansas home – the news came that we had been granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK. God had taken me in the swirling storm to a place of rest. I still choke up when I watch that scene in the classic film when the house lands and suddenly there is no sound, and Dorothy holding Toto, her beloved dog, opens the door to see the color and wonder of Oz. Somehow, that is how I imagine heaven to be like. C.S. Lewis imagines heaven represented in several of his stories as a place of light, intense colors, tastes and touch. A place that is more real than what we experience here in this life, in what Lewis called the Shadowlands. 

The granting of this kind of visa allows us to enjoy the next chapter of life, to root down deeper here in the Shire at our Pilgrims Rest. It means we are free to continue to strengthen relationships here and provide a place of refuge and retreat to other pilgrims. God carried me in His stable steadfast love while our future was up in there air – like Dorothy’s house. And now I can join David in his song of soul satisfaction. I  enjoy the taste of food slowly and carefully prepared because we are staying. I  praise Him afresh for His wondrous provision in politically uncertain times. I  thank Him when I awake in the night remembering His help in this time of waiting.

I  sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

If you are struggling through the haze of a tornado wondering where your soul will land, I encourage you to seek Him, thirst for Him, look for His presence in the storm and trust in His steadfast love, praise Him with thankfulness for even the little things, and reach out to Him. You will find soul satisfaction for He is the only true source of anything good we can ever hope for in this life.

Stay in the shadow of His wings. Please share how I may pray for you if you are in the midst of a storm, or perhaps a praise if He has brought you to a place of peace. My kettle is always ready to boil to share a cup of tea with mama g.

Staying Present in the Midst of Uncertainty

“In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.“(This is Water Commencement speech by David Foster Wallace )

I was reading an article from the New York Times by David Brooks (Putting Grit in Its Place) when the above  Wallace quote in it struck me – wham! David Brooks is challenging what he calls the “destructive elements” behind academic grade point average scores (GPAs), that are used in America. He couched the above quote with his own words, “at the highest level, our lives are directed toward some telos, or vision of the good life. Whether we are aware of it or not, we’re all oriented around some set of goals. Quote. Some worship money, or power or popularity or nursing or art, but everybody’s life is organized around some longing. The heart is both a driving engine and a compass.”

Now this was addressing the US education system, but I sensed the Holy Spirit whisper to me, “ponder this for yourself and call others to join in the conversation.”

To give some context of where my heart is these days – I am waiting in the Hobbit Shire of Worthing wondering if we shall plant here or be forced to move to another land to continue serving in our broader roles. My husband and I are waiting for the hopeful granting of indefinite leave to remain in the UK. Our host government has held our passports for over 4 months now that has caused us to cancel three key business trips. I catch myself feeling restless trying to stay attuned to the needs around me, both in the home and in our local community. I actually hear the rare-to-me word, “bored” seeping into the quagmire of my mind. My mom would chide me for that when I was young, giving me something to do, most likely a chore.

I love my community of neighbors, friends, young adults, and visitors to our home we named Pilgrims Rest…but…will we be able to remain or will we be forced to move on? When I take the time to ponder these unknowns, I slap my thoughts and chastise myself, saying, “Stop inner grumbling when thousands of refugees are flooding Europe for survival and hopes of a better life! I have choices. I have options. I have resources. I have much to be thankful for! Stop!”

Funny side note: many people call the town we live in, The Waiting Room of God because so many pensioners come here to retire. I am realizing that I need to accept this waiting room God has placed us in. But as someone who likes travel, meeting new people and meeting up with kindred brothers and sisters for spiritual survival living cross-culturally – it is difficult. I will confess it.

Another interesting fact about the rhythm of my life is that I have often experienced change every six years…we have lived here six years this month. It is as if my spirit is wondering, will there be another change ahead? I have heard this from many whom I love who have had to move a lot due to work or calling – the crossroads moments when that wave is approaching the shore of whether to move on or root deeper in. Do I ride the waves allowing them to take me where the current goes, or do I plant my feet in the sand allowing the sand to cover them? We shall see what the Lord has in store. For now I simply walk along the shore…waiting… embracing the ache of wanting to be with loved ones across the waters, trying to stay present with those here now.

So this quote above reminds me to renew my sense of worship.To reboot. To ask myself what, or better, whom do I worship? What am I hoping for? What are my goals even in this waiting room? As a Christ follower, I need to be a willing sheep. I need to move when He says move and stay when He says stay. I need to daily submit my desires to His plan and purposes. I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2) 

If He endured the cross, despised the shame, set me free from the slavery of sin, adopted me as His daughter, and is preparing a place for me…then I can rest in that for now realizing that the best is yet to come, but I have His strength and empowerment to live with Kingdom life now – today.

Keep on trusting, Keep on trusting…Keeping eyes open to His opportunities to love others in His name every day. Lord help this wandering sheep. Turning to one of my favorite hymns to spur me on… an 8th century Old Irish one… Be Thou My Vision

Now please join in the discussion… what keeps you going when in a time of waiting? How do you keep centered and focused? I would love to read your thoughts or hear your favorite music that ministers to your soul at these times of patience-building.

Have a cup of tea or a mug of coffee and join in…